Relationships with Boys

RULE NUMBER ONE: Never. Ever. Cry over a boy. Boys aren’t as mature as girls are while you’re in high school. It’s mostly a waste of time to cry over a boy; the months, the weeks, that you spend in that relationship… the months, the weeks, that you spend crying over the relationship. It’s not worth it. If you find a boy worth your while, then cheers to you, you go girl. Just don’t cry over him.

BREAK-UPS: We all know that break-ups can be hard. Some of them are really easy and the feeling is mutual, but I’m not talking about those. I’m talking about the break-ups that make you cry in the shower so no one will hear you, the break-ups that make you feel like you were easy to let go of and make you insecure, the break-ups that you blame yourself for. I know it takes time to heal (“time” could be months), but remember that you have a lot of people who worry about you and  they hate seeing you so heart-broken because you definitely do not deserve it, no matter what you tell yourself. You’re an angel with kind eyes and a big heart and a pretty soul, you were just as beautiful before him, you’re just as beautiful after him. You don’t need a boy to make you feel better. I mean, sure, they help, but you don’t need a boy. Boys need you, and that’s how you should look at it. Time your time to be sad after the break-up, but don’t over-think about it. You have to take time to start drinking water and eating better and basically glow, show him what he’s missing because girl, you are one of a count and he will never have someone like you ever again.

RED FLAGS: I feel like I shouldn’t be the one to write about this because I was in a relationship for a very long time and there were red flags everywhere that I didn’t see at the time. Based off of first-hand experience, let me tell you that you shouldn’t ever let a boy tell you what to wear and what not to wear unless you asked. It’s your body, not his. If he ever lays his hands on you with intentions to harm you, you better put him in his place. Cut him off and don’t let him back in. If he ever threatens you, end it now, it’s too toxic to risk. If he has a valid reason as to why you shouldn’t hang out with certain people, listen to him. You’re hot! He’s just being protective; however, there is a fine line between protective and controlling. Don’t let him be controlling over how much time you spend with your friends and family, he should respect your time considering it’s what you’re giving him.

HOW TO BREAK-UP: Don’t do it over the phone. Show that you care enough to talk about it in person. Don’t let him trap you into backing out of the break-up. Don’t let him blackmail you or hold your words against you. Tell him your reasons, ask to stay friends and keep in touch, tell him you understand if he needs time alone but let him know that you’re still here for him. Boys are softies too.

HOW TO DETECT IF A GUY LIKES YOU: Here’s how it works. If he’s there for you while you’re dating someone, there’s a slight chance he has considered dating you. If he’s there for you while you’re going through a break-up, he has definitely considered dating you. From that point on, it’s out of our hands. Girls are just as clueless about boys as boys are about girls. That’s why we have a list of guys that we’re close with and have asked for advice from. They want to participate in the site and it’s how we’re paying them back, basically. If you have any questions about boys that we can’t answer, click here.

FIRST DATES: The do’s and the do-not’s. Do: spray some perfume in your hair. Don’t: spray perfume too close to your scalp and don’t spray too much. Do: shower before your date. Don’t: shower the night before, shower a couple of hours before. Do: order something light, like salad. Don’t: order ribs or anything messy or expensive. Do: engage yourself in conversation. Don’t: talk the whole time. Do: talk about yourself a bit and tie it to him so he can start talking about himself. Don’t: only talk about yourself, if her asks you to “tell him about yourself”, always tie it back to him. Do: deal with uncomfortable silence while eating. Don’t: talk with your mouth full. Do: tell jokes. Don’t: talk about personal or private information or anything gross. Do: brush your teeth before you go, even if you’re going to eat. Don’t: kiss on the first date, give him something to look forward to. That’s basically the do’s and do-not’s of first dates. I can’t think of anything that would be considered worth discussing that’s not just common sense.

MEETING HIS FAMILY: Manners manners manners manners manners manners and more manners. Act like you are the most gracious person and that you’re so thankful for the food his mom may or may not have spent time making and clean up after yourself and don’t be handsy with the mama’s boy while visiting with his family. Get along with his siblings and choose something to relate to with each family member. If its obvious that the parents don’t like you, just remember that they are his parents and they’re just being over-protective. Don’t dress like he was driving and picked you up from the gym on the way home. Have respect for yourself and for his parents.

LONG-DISTANCE: Okay. I am currently in a long-distance relationship and it’s draining. If you choose to have a long-distance relationship, make sure that the guy is definitely worth your time because this is the most difficult relationship I’ve ever been in, and he is the only guy I would ever do this for. It’s important to have daily communication because you don’t see each other in school or interact with each other very often. Skype is very major in our relationship. Although there’s a lot of communication in a long-distance relationship, you will feel like you miss the person a lot, even if you’ve never met in person, it’s tough. Long-distance takes commitment and trust and if you don’t have either of those, then don’t lead someone on. Long-distance will break your heart, it’s ironically lonely.

SEX: In high school, there’s 3 types of people. Those who don’t have sex, those who pretend and act like they have sex, and those who have sex. This is such a risky thing to talk about because so many people have so many different views on pre-marital sex. I feel safe saying that you can do whatever you want, but there are huge consequences. Being pregnant is awful in high school. Not only is it terrifying to know that the high school boy who got you pregnant can’t support you, but it’s also uneasy to know that high school is high school and kids are mean and they will talk about you if you had sex whether you are pregnant or not. If you plan on having sex, make sure it’s with someone you wholly love. High school relationships rarely last and giving your virginity away leaves you with a very empty feeling. I recommend (very strongly) to not have sex in high school.

ITS OK TO WAIT, ITS OK TO  BE SINGLE: Take some time to yourself. Who says time belongs to boys, anyways? You deserve to treat yourself and feel like you are all you need, because you are. Look at you being all strong and gorgeous and stuff. You don’t need no man! Always take care of yourself.

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